


Stars Over Me

by renjunphile



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Disgustingly fluffy, F/M, Fluff, Inspired by Bolbbalgan4, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 03:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18731095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjunphile/pseuds/renjunphile
Summary: He was always meant to leave. You were always meant to stay. 13 years beside each other could not change the fact he would leave your sleepy town for the big city and that he would leave your side.





	Stars Over Me

**Author's Note:**

> International ages are used here!

YOU THINK YOU’VE BEEN IN LOVE with the boy next door for as long as you had known him, which was a long, long time. Your memory was sharp, yet you failed to locate and recall a single memory that he was not part of, or connected to in any way.

Explicit memories begin to get more frequent, more detailed and more prominent around the age of 3, but Huang Renjun arrived in your life when you were 5, having moved from China with his parents to your sleepy village that you loved so much. You can’t remember much before Renjun- call it childhood amnesia or not- but you don’t need to remember anyway; your life began when Renjun entered.

You think you’ve been in love with him for years and years, but you fall in love quickly with everything and anything anyway, be it the cute flower you saw in a field of matted grass or the passing traveller you come across once in a while with millions of stories to tell and millions of plans to tick off. Falling in love was not a complicated thing for you; life only makes love look hard. Love was defined to be an intense feeling of deep affection, and you were one who opened your heart to everything.

So, yes, you were in love with Renjun, but so what? You were in love with everything.

“What are you thinking about?” he hums softly beside you as he looks up from his prized sketchbook. The halt of the soft scratching of pencil to paper caused you to look up, along with his voice breaking through the silence.

“Life,” you mused dryly.

“You’re always so-” he paused to find the right word and drew his eyebrows together, before shaking his head, “You’re an enigma, Y/N. You know that right?”

“And if I am?” you chuckled, “You’ll find I’m actually a very simple girl.”

“A simple girl who seeks to find the answers of our very complicated universe without any questions,” he teased, “Very simple.”

“I want to find the answers to everything and nothing at all,” you replied, “Whatever, Renjun- I’m just very content where I am.”

He smiled faintly over to you and returned to his sketchbook. As happy as he was, you knew he didn’t share the same sentiment as you. He was practically counting down the seconds until he could leave. As for you? As you said, you were perfectly happy and in your element.

You had lived in the village your entire life; your family’s ancestry could be traced to the founders of the town and you had absolutely no reason to leave. There was a school to gain knowledge, there were buildings that needed workers, there were people to love and you were fine.

Renjun hailed from a Korean-speaking town in China, and made the move when he was 3 since his parents wanted a change of scenery. Somehow, they found your little village, found it beautiful and made the choice to stay there instead of the city they had planned to raise Renjun up in. You still thank the stars (and his parents) often for that decision, because it was that decision that brought Huang Renjun by your side, quite literally. He moved into the house next door, with his room right beside yours with only a gap between your balconies; it was truly something from novels and movies.

“Should we leave soon, Jun?” you call over to him after some time had passed. The sun was setting, but the two of you remained rooted to your favourite park bench. The spring weather made sitting out and just living so wonderful. 

Renjun loved to draw; he was blessed with golden hands. In the corner of his room was a floating bookshelf laden with journal upon journal that were each filled to the brim with his wonderful creations. He drew when he was bored; he drew when he had time.

You loved to watch him draw. You loved watching how lines and strokes could come together so seamlessly to form his art of the most breathtaking degree. You loved watching his eyebrows furrow for every out-of-place mark or the way his lips would tug up into a faint smile of satisfaction when the image in his head translated itself onto paper.

Like him, you were an artist, but of a different kind.

You were known for hardly ever being seen without your love- your guitar. You took it everywhere you could, so it was rare to see you without two things- your guitar and your Renjun. Your guitar was a beauty that was handcrafted by someone very talented and it was given to you by your mother and father on your 12th birthday. Over the years, it became more worn, but it still performed as beautiful as the day that you had received it.

Like him, you had journals and journals filled with artistic imaginings of your own mind, but this time in the form of song lyrics.

Sometimes you had entire songs, sometimes you had verses or choruses, sometimes you only had lines or even just a few words, but altogether, they displayed your fervent emotions. You were a feeler; you felt things often, and you felt your emotions intensely. If you were unable to convert those feelings into something like lyrics, you feel as though you would’ve exploded a long time ago.

You didn’t mind your lack of control over your strong emotions; they just made life a lot more pleasant. You felt love a little more intensely, you felt happiness a little more intensely. You weren’t complaining when you had pages on pages on pages of heartfelt lyrics that weren’t empty and baseless. Each song, each lyric brought you to a memorable place in your life.

“Why, are you cold?” he replied to your earlier question, “I just have this drawing to finish.”

“A little,” you admitted, snuggling into your guitar case a little more.

Renjun huffed and shrugged off his jacket, “Here.”

It was a normal occurrence for him to give you his jacket; you didn’t even react. You tended to forget to dress for cold nights since days were so warm, and Renjun liked to cover himself in as many articles of clothing despite the warm days. You quickly thanked him, and let the fluffy lining of his jacket engulf you. It really did smell like him- woodsy, natural and pleasant.

Being outside in nature really caused you to think. You thought about the present, you thought about the future (which you didn’t like to do often), but mainly, you thought about the past.

You’ve never lived life making decisions you would regret, which was why it was so pleasant for you to look back on your life and just think about the happiness you’ve been blessed with for the last 18 years. It was made all the happier when Renjun would creep into your thoughts just because he was always so near, having been your best friend for the past 13 years.

One of your fond memories is how Huang Renjun became your best friend at the school playground. Many boys lined up to be his friend, just because he had a toy that the secluded village boys had never seen before. Many girls lined up to be his friend because he had cute cheeks and was nice, unlike the other boys who grew comfortable enough to stomp on their sand castles. Huang Renjun decided to stick by your side, despite attempts to pull him away, because he had decided very early on that you were the one he wanted to play with, for whatever reason. He doesn’t remember why he rejected Jinseo’s offer to play with a red toy car with functional doors and wheels that his aunt from Seoul got him, but you were very thankful that he did.

“OK, let’s go,” he finally spoke after a little while. He closed his book and stood up from your beloved park bench, “We were out for quite a while today.”

You rose, slung your guitar strap over your shoulder and stuffed your hands into the pockets of his jacket, “The weather’s getting even nicer; it’s quite pleasant being out, right?”

“But we should definitely be starting to study more,” Renjun countered, “Try and get into college, and all that.”

“For you, maybe,” you replied curtly and ceased all future talk as always. You weren’t a very big fan of living for the future. 

He knew not to continue the conversation, and instead retreated to walking beside you in comfortable silence.

Despite not talking about the future a lot with Renjun, it was a topic that kept you up sometimes. In a matter of months, the two of you were graduating and off to university. Renjun already had a plan in place and so did you.

Everyone in the village and next knew how smart Renjun was, and how much potential that he stored. That was why it was no surprise when he was accepted to a top university in Seoul. While you were perfectly adequate in your education, you had no desire to leave your cosy town. It was all you’d ever known, and all you’d ever needed. You didn’t long for more, unlike Renjun.

He was going to leave, you were going to stay. It hurt, yes, but it was going to happen.

-

You loved holding Renjun’s hands. He always had soft hands, even if he was an artist and was totally due to having hands stained with inks and paints and other mediums. No, they were always beautiful and smooth and milky.

Looking up through your eyelashes, you could see Renjun was trying to hold his tears in. He was doing this thing- he was biting his lips and blinking furiously.

You held up your entwined hands in front of your eyes, where your head was laid on his lap as you stretched out across the grass while he was sat upright. Examining his skin, you noted the things that you knew already, like his very obvious bruise-like mole of shades so wonderfully blended together but disrupting the creaminess of the rest of his hand, and also the very subtle graphite tattoo he inflicted on himself when the two of you were 14 and he was careless with his pencil. It was absolutely tiny, on the flap of skin between his index and middle finger, but only you and him knew it was there.

“Jun,” you had whispered in your softest voice, “Don’t be afraid to cry.”

He laughed and squeezed his eyes, causing a tear or two to fall out from each eye furiously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His free hand, that had been stroking your hair, brushed away at the stray streams of sadness.

“How long have you known me for? 13 years? And you don’t want to cry in front of me?” you smile sadly as your own eyes brimmed with tears, “Let’s just cry together, okay? It’s not going to hurt your pride. It’s only me.”

Renjun choked back on the words he longed to say: Because it’s you. Because it was you that he didn’t want to cry. Because it’s you that he didn’t want to break your heart. Because it’s you that he didn’t want to leave in the morning. Because it was you. It was always you.

“Shh, Y/N.”

“Don’t regret this, okay, Jun? Don’t regret our last night together. Tell me you’ll miss me. Don’t tell me you’ll call and text every night. Don’t tell me you’ll visit often. Just tell me you’ll remember me,” you asked of him sadly.

Your town was not a million miles away from Seoul. It was just that it was somewhat difficult to reach when Renjun didn’t have a car. The only reason that he would return to Seoul was for you because his parents were moving out of the town with him. They had stayed the past 13 years because Renjun had wanted to stay with you. Now, they had no reason to up and leave to the place they had always intended to settle. The Huangs were city-bound through and through.

“I’ll never ever forget you,” he squeezed your hand tighter, and leaned down to press a kiss onto your forehead, “I love you, Y/N.”

Shutting your eyes closed, tearing them away from your favourite landscape that was the night sky, you let your own tears mix with his own that pattered down onto your cheeks like rain, “I love you too, Renjun.”

-

You had been to Seoul a few times as a young child, but you only vaguely remember the city. In fact, you remembered Seoul barely at all. If you tried hard enough, maybe you could bring to your mind a few glancing images of maybe some city lights or a skyscraper or two. You only knew Seoul from the pictures.

But you found yourself in Seoul at the age of 19 and a little bit, navigating the city by your phone. It was a complete turn around from your little sleepy town in the middle of nowhere, and you guess you could see the enchantment of the city and why so many desired to live there. It was fascinating for sure, because every degree that your head turned, something new and exciting was brought to your attention.

You had arrived in Seoul by train that you caught from the nearest semi-large settlement to your town, and the first things you saw out of the train station were buildings so densely packed together, and people briskly-walking as if they couldn’t care less about anything around them. They probably didn’t.

Life in your sleepy town was secluded, you knew that for sure. Of course you had Wi-Fi, of course you had connections to the outside world. You weren’t like a secretive tribe or anything. It was just that your town was a little far from big places, like Seoul. In your town, you appreciated every brick in every building and knew everyone around you and their life story.

In Seoul, that was impossible.

You weren’t in Seoul for any particular reason. It was just that your online university gave you a benefit of price off a train ticket and you thought that maybe, at 19, you should venture out further than the nearest town that had a sufficient shopping centre. Before, you had never really found any reason to go to Seoul, but seeing the offer, something was tugged in you to the direction of the city.

It was going to be an adventure, to say the least, since you were alone in a megacity with no clear plans. At least you had a hotel room for a few nights.

Texting your parents, you told them that you had arrived safely and were trying to find your way to your hotel room. Frankly, you were lost, because you were a sheep in wolf territory. You were the prime example of a fish out of a pond. Your town didn’t have a metro system- of course, it didn’t!

You recounted later on that maybe slow-walking through the bustling underground of Seoul probably wasn’t the best, but you were just examining for some kind of map.

That was when you were hit. Quite literally.

Someone had violently bumped into your shoulder, sending you stumbling back, but thankfully not falling. The person had already flown past you, but they had shouted their apologies, looking back while they were running ahead to catch the train that you vaguely heard approaching.

You only caught his face for two split seconds, but you have never been more sure about anything other than the fact that the boy was Huang Renjun.

-

“Honey, look!” your mother entered your room with a bright smile on her face.

Taking out your earphones, and tearing your eyes away from your laptop screen showing your online class, you fixate your gaze onto the thing clasped in her hands. It was a red card with a 3D Christmas tree protruding from the front.

“A Christmas card?” you frown.

“Yeah, it’s from the Huangs! I can’t believe they sent us a Christmas card! I must message them back and apologise for not sending one as well. She didn’t mention she was sending a card when we talked on the phone last month!” your mother was excitedly babbling, but your frown was deepening as you took the card from her grip.

To the Y/L/N’s,  
Merry Christmas! Let’s meet soon okay? Come to Seoul!  
Love always, the Huang’s.

“That’s- that’s really nice of them,” you handed back the card to your mother and turned around, ready to continue with the class.

“Did Renjun say anything about his parents sending a card? We should go see them,” your mother continued.

Your body froze suddenly, but you couldn’t let your mother see you in the way you might have ended up, “Mom, I told you. I haven’t spoken to Renjun in a year.”

“Oh,” the resignation was evident in her voice, “Oh. I just thought- thought that maybe they sent a card because you and Renjun spoke again. Maybe you should be the one to reach out.”

“It doesn’t matter Mom. We’re in different paths of our lives now. We have plans that don’t include the other,” you spoke tensely, “Please give up on the idea of Renjun and I.”

She left your room without saying anything more, and the door closed softly behind her. You couldn’t lie. Thinking about him hurt a lot, especially since the reason why the two of you no longer spoke was nothing big at all. Life just had different plans for the two of you, and communicating was difficult.

Sometimes you think that a big fallout would’ve been easier to handle than the gradually dwindling texts and calls that you endured. It might’ve been easier hating him instead of wondering why you drifted, when the two of you were linked so closely, and longing so hard for him.

Smiling softly at the picture frame on your desk showing the two of you in an awkward teen phase, with his arm around your shoulders, you returned to your Renjun-less reality.

-

“Y/N, you should come to spend your 20th birthday with me,” one of your great friends from childhood had stated confidently over the phone, “You know it’s my birthday the day after yours too! It’s been like 4 months since I saw you.”

“But, Chae, Seoul is so far!”

“Y/N, did I sound like I was asking? No, I wasn’t!”

So, that was how you found yourself back in Seoul on your 20th birthday.

“Oh, this weekend if going to be so fun!” one of your other close friends squealed. Eunha was someone you knew since birth, and remained by your side, since she didn’t go off to university either and was already working in your town instead, “I love Seoul.”

“I don’t,” you pouted, “It’s confusing. Too many things going on.”

She chuckled at you, “I know. There’s already a lot going on in that peculiar mind of yours, so I imagine your small brain can’t handle all of this at once.”

You playfully growled at her and she cowered with a delightful squeal, “Come on, let’s find Chaewon.”

Later that night, the three of you were wandering around the still-lively streets of the city after an expensive meal at an over-priced restaurant, that was made up for by a cute waiter serving the three of you.

“Y/N, I can’t believe you already want to go to the hotel! It’s like 9! We’re in Seoul, for goodness sake! We have to do something. Let’s go clubbing?” Eunha suggested passionately.

“Oh no. Clubbing in Seoul on a Saturday night is literally hell,” Chaewon grimaced and shook her head, “But I do feel like getting drunk. Let’s go to a karaoke room?”

Eunha grinned and clapped her hands excitedly while you groaned, “Getting drunk in Seoul sounds dangerous. And a karaoke room? Really?”

“Why do you look like that? You love karaoke rooms, Y/N, and if we start getting too drunk, I’ll just tell my roommate to come pick us up afterwards,” Chaewon just shrugged, “No but’s. We’re going.”

It didn’t take too long to find a karaoke room since the streets were littered with them, and the three of you quickly paid and took your many snacks in drinks into your arms, charging towards the room.

After passing a few occupied rooms, it seemed like everyone was enjoying themselves since you could hear cheers and loud shouts. You smiled to yourself- maybe this wasn’t going to be a bad idea.

This life here was so different from what you knew. Back in your town, your idea of fun would be playing songs on your beloved guitar in the park and having a bonfire with your friends, or even just going to the local diner.

“Okay, birthday girl, you get the first choice,” Chaewon smirked over at you as she laid the food on the table, “Don’t be shy. It’s only us.”

A while later, the three of you had practically busted your lungs singing to a multitude of songs to your loudest capabilities. Nobody of the three of you was flat out drunk since the three of you had subconsciously swapped downing your drinks for outdoing the boys in the karaoke room beside you in a screaming contest.

Despite the fact that the walls were meant to be soundproof, the boys in the other room were annoyingly loud, and a tipsy Eunha decided to try and out-noise them by singing loud. Gradually, the decibels increased, and you swore that your voice was just going to give out any second.

“Girls,” an amused voice sounded from the corner, “Please quieten down or else we’re going to have to kick you out.”

You and Chaewon bowed in apologies and glared at Eunha who looked annoyed that she was interrupted in the middle of a passionate rendition of a 90s ballad, “Maybe you should have invested in better walls. What karaoke room doesn’t have soundproof walls?”

“Eunha!” you scolded.

“Eunha! I’m sorry, she’s drunk,” Chaewon said sheepishly to the worker.

“Girls, I think I’m going to have to kick you out because of that,” the staff scoffed, “Your time ends in 5 minutes anyway.”

You grabbed Eunha and your belongings and began making your way out, making sure to apologise to the lady.

“I was just saying the truth,” Eunha mumbled before turning to the lady, “You’re kicking the boys out too right? They started it.”

“We’re giving them a warning, yes,” the lady nodded, waiting for Chaewon to leave the room with the last of your items before she shut the door.

You were intrigued to see who your rivals were, so you had originally intended to look through the circle window as you walked past their room, but it seemed that the door to their room was already opened anyway.

“It was the girls’ fault!” a high-pitched voice whined, and you swore you heard some stomping against the floor. How childish. 

“Hyuck, I cannot believe you got us kicked out of the karaoke room!”

And that was when your heart stopped in Seoul for the second time.

No. No. You knew that voice better than anything else in the world. That was the voice that followed you wherever for over a decade of your short life. There was no way you were wrong.

“Y/N? Why have you stopped?” Eunha slurred, still in your grip, which you then dropped.

“Hey! You’re the girls in the room beside us, right? I can’t believe that you got us kicked out!” the same high-tone voice called out to the three of you. A pair of shoes entered your vision that was fixed on the floor. They were leaving the room, and in a split second, you were going to see him again.

“Oh my God, Hyuck! I’m so sorry about him,” another voice sounded. You looked up to see a boy around your age with pink hair gripping the boy who had been pouting at the three of you. 

Chaewon eyed you as if to say she thought that they looked cute, but you couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t do this.

You moved past the two boys who were stood in front of you, blocking the corridor on the way to the exit and walked quickly. You had to get out of there.

“Y/N! Where are you going?” Eunha shouted after you.

“Wait,” and your whole world stopped spinning, “Y/N?”

You had missed his voice saying your name. It was a sound that you hadn’t heard in real life in almost two years and a sound you hadn’t even heard over the phone in about a year and a half.

“Oh my God, Renjun? Is that you?” Chaewon’s realisation was loud and you could hear it as you stepped out onto the street where cold wind smacked your face. 

You had no idea why you thought it was a good idea to run away without any knowledge of the huge city you were in, but your feet were carrying you away from the karaoke place. There was no way you could face him.

That kind of heartbreak was one you weren’t willing to welcome. The kind of heartbreak you would experience seeing his face, all happy without you. He probably hasn’t thought of you in a while. He has new friends, that you know. He probably has a girlfriend for all you knew. Huang Renjun could make anyone fall for him in a snap.

You didn’t want to face Renjun and see how he’s changed over the couple of years you hadn’t seen him. You don’t want to face Renjun and think of him as a stranger that you knew nothing about. The image of Renjun in your head was one you treasured, even if it gave you pain. 

What was going to be painful was returning to his life where the two of you were as close as strangers, when your heart still craved nothing but him.

You were too busy with your mind clogged up with painful thoughts to notice the heavy padding of shoes on the pavement behind you. You were too occupied with your worries when you didn’t even flinch when a hand grasped your arm and halted you in the middle of the streets. You were too busy thinking about Renjun to react as Renjun pulled you into his arms.

“Why did you run away from me, Y/N?” he whispered, though it felt like the loudest noise above the hooting streets.

“Renjun, you can’t hug me after not speaking to me for a year and a half,” you reply stoically, debating whether to push him away from you. 

He tightened his hug, knowing what you were already thinking to do, “Yes I can. Because I’m Renjun and you’re Y/N and we made a promise to stay best friends for as long as we lived.”

“We made that promise when it was unimaginable to us that we’d lose contact after you left,” you retorted, “It’s different now.”

“I told you that I would never forget you. Here I am, not forgetting you,” he combatted, “It’s been so long, Y/N.”

“It’s not like neither of us did anything to help that,” you huff, “Renjun, let go. This is too much for me.”

“Why are you here?” his arms unsnaked around you, but he pulled you into a side street so that you were away from a busy road.

You could see his face clearly now. Strange- he looked exactly the same. He looked as beautiful as you knew him to be, but just a little bit older. You always imagined that if ever you met Renjun again, he would be unrecognisable, but now, with him in front of you, you think that you can map his face out with stars exactly perfectly.

“I’m here to celebrate my-”

“Your birthday. You’re here to celebrate your 20th birthday,” he quickly interrupted, “Of course. I remember.”

You weren’t surprised that he did. Every 23rd of March, on his birthday, you had a little pity party with yourself looking through memorabilia of your childhood with Renjun.

“How long are you in Seoul for?” Renjun breathed incredulously, as if he couldn’t believe you were there in front of him.

“Until Monday afternoon,” you replied curtly before turning your voice soft, “What are you doing, Renjun? You’re expecting to waltz back into my life after all this time? We’re practically strangers now, Renjun.”

He shook his head, “No, Y/N. We’re not. As long as I am still Renjun, then I am still yours.”

“You can’t go around saying things like that!” you utter in surprise, “If this weekend you’re going to take me for the adventure of our lives, as soon as it’s over. Nothing changes. I’m not staying in Seoul and I go back to living far from you. We grow apart again and we get hurt again. I don’t want that to happen again.”

“For a simple girl, you are so dramatic,” he huffed, “Stop being stubborn and spend this weekend with me.”

“I’m here for Chaewon’s birthday too.”

“Then let’s all spend it together. Your friends and mine. You’re right here in front of me. The same way you couldn’t face me before, I can’t let you go now,” he pleaded.

You looked up. You couldn’t see a single star in the night sky, but looking down, you found them in their rightful place, his eyes.

“Okay. Okay, Huang Renjun, Okay.”

-

“Merry Christmas, Y/N,” Jeno grinned at you as you walked into the living room. You placed yourself beside Renjun, who side-hugged you.

“Merry Christman, Jeno. Where’s Nana and Hyuck? Still asleep?” you chuckle.

“Yeah, of course they are,” Jeno scoffed, “I’m going to wake them up. I really want to open presents now.”

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Renjun whispered sleepily to you.

“You’ve told me that three times since I got here last night,” you laugh softly as your heart began to pound in its cage.

“Yes, but this is only the second time I’ve seen you after your birthday in Seoul,” he argued weakly.

Oh, you could never forget the summer road trip from Seoul to the cities in the south of Korea before you took a short trip to Jeju. It was you him, his 3 friends and your two friends. Safe to say that that trip was beyond unforgettable for a few distinct reasons.

“You’re too sappy, Huang,” you grin.

“What- I’m not allowed to miss my beautiful best friend?” he gawked at you teasingly.

“Dork,” you scrunched up your nose and poked his soft cheeks.

“Hmm,” he hummed, snaking his arms around you, “Your dork.”

His lips hovered over yours with a warm breath before you closed your eyes. Kissing Renjun was euphoria and heaven and wondrous all at once. It was a phenom that no one would experience other than you- that he swore on.

Each kiss was seeped with the promise of realness, and of eternity. This was your best friend, the love of your life. It was intense and soft, slow but fast, passionate but light. Kissing Renjun was far too indescribable.

“Ah, my favourite best friends that kiss,” Hyuck’s sarcastic tone pulled the two of you apart, “I can’t wait to graduate so you two can stop kidding yourselves and finally get together.”

Jaemin walked up behind him, smacking the back of his head, “Shut up Donghyuck. You’re just pressed you’re lonely. Carry on, best friends,” he winked, “Pretend we’re not here.”

“Oh my God, I’m dating a voyeur,” Jeno groaned as he walked into the living room, “Can we all just shut up and open the presents?”

Looking to Renjun, the two of you burst out in embarrassed giggles being caught by your friends, but nonetheless, you stayed in his arms.

The two of you weren’t dating. Not yet. There was no romantic label over your heads and the two of you promised on that summer road trip when you confessed your feelings watching the stars on the beach that you wouldn’t become official until the two of you finished your education.

It was hard enough being best friends and only seeing each other every few months. You imagined it was going to be a lot harder when he was explicitly your boyfriend.

“Only 6 more months,” he whispered into your hair, pressing a kiss, before turning his attention to his three best friends, “Okay, losers, let’s open these damn presents so you can leave my house.”

It was Christmas Day and the Huang house was empty of its owners. Renjun’s parents were spending Christmas with yours, and you and Renjun had spent Christmas Eve with his friends. After lunch, you and Renjun were going to drive out back to your town just in time for dinner and the boys were returning to their homes. You figured Renjun had pulled the short straw here because Jaemin and Donhyuck’s families both lived in Seoul, while Jeno’s family were only over in Incheon.

It really was a happy occasion with the boys who grew to become your brothers in a short amount of time. You were happy to be friends with them and even happier that Renjun had found such a group to become his mini-family in University.

As cruel as it was that it took life taking you away from him for Renjun to meet these boys, you’re the first to forgive life for that, because you knew Renjun loved these boys, and these boys loved you too. Life was unfair, a lot of the times, yes, but all that mattered was Renjun was beside you again navigating this game of life, but you had a few more players helping you along the way. You were content.

-

“There’s my handsome boy,” you coo affectionately at Renjun who was walking over to you trying to bite his grin back.

The graduation robes looked marvellous on him.

“You’re talking about me, right?” Donghyuck cut in from the left, filling the space between you and Renjun, “I’m your handsome boy and you know it, Y/N!”

“Loser,” Renjun muttered, shoving him aside to hug you, “I’m glad you could make it.”

“As if I’d miss your graduation for the world, Jun,” you mumbled into the crook of his neck, “I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t have made it through the horror that was this final year without you,” he said softly, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too.”

Whenever the two of you exchanged those words, it was hard to define the meaning. They were no longer only platonic I love you’s, but you knew they also that too. Your relationship was quite literally undefined, but you both knew that those words carried a lot of weight, but you meant them.

“Renjun! Hurry up! I want to hug Y/N too! You’re not the only one who hasn’t seen her in a while,” Hyuck complained behind him. Renjun pulled away and playfully glared at him, but moved aside so Hyuck could hug you and Renjun could hug his parents and yours.

“Special plans tonight, Y/N?” the tone of his voice wasn’t even the teasing Hyuck that you were used to. There was something tender about his words. Everyone knew that you and Renjun struggled to be so far apart when your hearts were so connected. You and Renjun had been counting down to graduation day for as long as you confessed, and soon enough, everyone else was rooting for you too.

“Maybe,” you smile softly, “Congratulations on graduating, Hyuck.”

“Well, you nagged me to study all the time,” he was back to his playful self, “I’m going to find Jaemin and Jeno and drag them here so we can have a family photo. Stay here, okay?”

When he left, you turned to find your mother practically drowning Renjun with a hug. Your parents very much considered him to be their son the same way his parents did with you.

“So, tonight, we’ll have dinner out at a restaurant? I was thinking-”

“Actually, mom,” Renjun cut his mother off softly as he slipped a hand around your waist, “I was thinking of taking Y/N out if that’s okay.”

Safe to say that your parents, who had always dreamed of becoming in-laws, were more than okay with it.

-

“Jun, are you sure you know where we’re going?” you looked over to him warily.

“Have a little faith in me, Y/N,” he chuckled, “I do.”

“We’ve been driving for like 2 hours in the most random directions,” you argued, “I’m kind of scared. It’s getting dark.”

“Trust me,” he said slowly, comfortingly, “As long as I’m here I won’t let you become the topic of a Buzzfeed True Crime Unsolved.”

“Yah! Renjun!” you shout as he laughed that beautiful laugh, “That’s not funny.”

“It is and you know it,” he winked. 

You sigh and look back down to your lap. You were flipping through one of his many sketchbooks, but this one was one he kept through college that you hadn’t seen quite yet since he stress-drew a lot and filled countless books.

“Wow, Jun, this one’s incredible,” you flicked onto a page displaying a recreation of an iconic childhood photo of you and Renjun. 

It was a drawing of the two of you on a set of swings, where you were swinging forward closer to the camera with the happiest smile on your face, and he was grimacing since he didn’t particularly like the swings.

“Oh, that? I drew that I think on your 19th birthday. I was thinking about you and missing you. Look closer, you might see some tear stains,” he said in amusement, recounting that dark time of your lives where you didn’t speak to each other for almost 2 years.

You felt your heart wrench. Of course, the two of you never forgot about each other in that time. You had promised.

You continued looking through the sketchbook, finding a few more drawings related to you, while you listened to a mixtape produced by one of Renjun’s older friends who had been a music major. Mark Lee had produced it in his final year and having befriended you, knowing you were a songwriter, he asked for your help.

“Jun, did Mark ever tell you the truth behind this song?” you asked softly, listening to the sounds of Beautiful Time.

“I thought it’s about some girl he left behind in Canada?”

You giggled, “I wrote this song. All of it. It’s about you.”

“What?” he gawked in surprise, “Y/N, I sing parts of this song. You’re telling me I was singing some lyrics about me without knowing?”

“I asked Mark not tell you, but I forgot to tell you myself,” you chuckled.

“I guess that’s why I related to this song so much. I always think of you when I hear it,” he said sentimentally, “You’re so wonderful, you know that right, Y/N?”

You hum in response, looking out the window to see the sky and its ever-darkening colour. It took a whole hour until the car finally stopped, and when it did, you were confused.

“Jun, we’re in the middle of a field. In the middle of nowhere,” you deadpanned.

“I’m really appalled that you don’t know why we’re here,” he huffed and reached over behind him to grab a basket that your parents had prepared for the two of you, “Get out the car.”

You complied and watched as he walked over to the front of the car before sliding on top of the hood. He looked over at you expectantly, patting the metal beside him.

“This would be better if we had a truck,” he noted, opening the basket, “So, Y/N, the love of my life. Does stargazing sound like a good plan tonight?”

A smile spread through your face. How could you forget? This was your absolute favourite thing to do with Renjun. It had been for as long as you could remember. It’s been a while since you were able to stargaze since Seoul was so polluted and he hardly found time to come back to your town.

You hauled yourself up onto the hood and kissed his cheek, “Absolutely perfect.”

The two of you passed some time in quiet, eating your food and pointing out your favourite constellations. He reminded you again that he liked the big dipper (because that was the only constellation he could see) and you pointed out Cassiopeia and Andromeda and recounted the story of the vain queen who angered the gods and had to sacrifice her daughter for it. He pointed out the brightest star that he could see and told you that you lit up his life brighter than that, while you smothered him in kisses because he was so sweet.

“I have something to tell you, Jun,” you began softly, “I made up my mind. I want to move to Seoul even if the light pollution there is terrible. I know your lease is up in a month on your apartment with Hyuck, so I was hoping that we could move in together?”

A little gasp escaped him, “Really? Y/N, really?”

“Of course,” you admired his joyful reaction, “You didn’t get a fancy degree for nothing. You can’t use that in our town. I love our town, but I love you more. Consider yourself lucky. You’re the only person that I would leave behind our town for.”

“Y/N, I’ve known for 16 years how lucky I am,” he countered, “Of course I’ll move in with you. A thousand times yes.”

“God, you sound like I just proposed! I’m not even your girlfriend yet,” you teased playfully.

He quirked his eyebrows up at you and leaned over to press a loving kiss on your lips, “You’re more than that. You’re the love of my life.”

-

You think- no, you know that your life was always meant to entwine with Renjun’s. You know that the stars over you have fated you with Renjun in such a way that maybe you could call him your soulmate.

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same,” you had once read out loud to Renjun from the book you were reading, while he drew beside you on a park bench as the sun set, casting golden hues to spill over the two of you, “Isn’t that beautiful, Renjun?”

The memory brought you back to your beloved village, and on that beloved bench, all before life decided to interfere in that way it had.

He had smiled at you softly, in such a way that your heart failed its duty and purpose for only a split-second, “Is this the beginning of one of your philosophical questions, Y/N? What are souls made of?”

“You’re far too mean to me,” you pouted, before pulling your lips into a soft smile that mirrored his. You looked into his twinkling eyes that shone especially brightly in this light of gold and pinks and purples flooding the land, “But I think our souls are made of the same thing too, don’t you think?”

Your best friend chuckled and then paused in thought, “Sure, Y/N. Our souls are definitely made of the same thing. Your soul is made for mine, I guess. That’s why you’re my best friend.”

You had smiled in content towards Renjun, the boy who chose to never deride or mock your sometimes outlandish philosophies and thoughts, and decided that you were in love with him, in all the ways you could think of, and that you were going to continue to love him for as long as the stars stayed twinkling in the darkness. You were perfectly happy.

“What are you thinking about now?” he looked onto you fondly, as he had always done. Maybe you should’ve picked up then that he was as in love with you, in the purest way, as you were with him.

“You,” you grinned.

Renjun pressed his lips together as the corners of his mouth quirked up. He opened his mouth again, about to say something, before clamping his lips shut and looking up. The stars were appearing, one by one, in their shining glory, stamping their presence onto the darkening blanket covering the earth.

“Shall we go see the stars?”

And all you could think was yes.


End file.
